Moving on

I've been stupid. I believed there is a true friend exist in my life. I've been searching for it. None, is the only result I got. I mistook some of them as my true friend. I thought they could understand me, but they are only "thought" after all.
I shared my life stories with them blindly, thinking they are really willing to listen, console me, but somehow I'm forcing them instead, forcing them to listen, to be my real friend in life. I was wrong, so wrong.
I don't know is there really a true friend exist? Or he/she already existed and very close to me? Yeah, I still believing, but I won't search for it already. I know if that true friend really does exist, I don't have to find them, eventually we will meet up.
So now, I'm still trying to move on, from the mistake I just realized. Again, I mistook somebody as my true friend, this time it involved 2 persons. Haha how embarrassing ! The messages I text them, my life stories that I told them...
They are good people no doubt. They are kind too, they chose the best way to tell me they are not the friend I'm searching for. The way they used is to ignore me, maybe I'm too crazy ? I almost find them everyday for nothing since they went to college... Yeah, maybe I've gone insane..
Now, I don't know why I feel so scare and kinda sad when I see them, I mean in facebook =.=
I've been try to avoid to contact with them, see their posts recently =.= Feeling guilty maybe? Feeling embarrass maybe? Or thinking "Can we still be friends"?
Give me few weeks more... Few weeks more I swear I will move on ! And then we will finally became friends like last time. The less chatting but when meet up can start a short conversation friends.

Pisces, Loser?

Aww... Just finished reading a lot of posts relate to my Horoscope, Pisces from FB. I realized, how weak they describe pisces are ! Weak, soft, emotional,cry baby, too romantic and way more, nothing but a typical loser haha. But they also mentioned that Pisces are actually pro in acting, act to be strong, optimistic and easy to forgive people. Hell no I say. Yes, doubtless Pisces like me are sometime easy get into moody and can't help ourselves, but it's all because we care about someone, someone who they don't even give a shit on us. Kind of stupid I know but what can do? We are born to be ignored by someone who don't care us and ignored the one who care about us. It is irony. I am the great example. I spent my 5 years time on some people who now turn out to be those I don't wanna get close to, and left those who always concerning me behind. Now I learnt my lesson, those who concerned me are now left me, they're gone.
Come back to Pisces talk before I wrote too far away from my topic. Pisces ain't weak at all, Pisces actually very strong, they can stand every sarcasm from other people, laughter, teaser, bad words and anything which other horoscope cant stand, Pisces dislike to act ! They hate acting, and afraid of those who acting in front of us. We pisces are too kind, we will believe every word from people easily even though we know that is impossible. Instead of pretending we buy what they say, we choose to believe and that's why we always get hurt, then put ourselves in bad mood. However, once you lied Pisces, you forever can't gain their trust anymore, ever.
Pisces, no always kind, we has shady side. We curse a lot inside and once you let us down, you forever are unforgivable. We won't be so stupid always hating you. Because once we mad at you, you are not longer appear in our eyes, automatically, you will always be transparent in our eyes, never appear again.

I've learnt. Practicing...

So long blogger ! (What am I doing? It definitely won't reply me !)
Dear blog,
I just came back from Kampar, where my former secondary school classmates staying now. I went there and try to experience their lifestyle, and it totally worth my 3days 2 nights staying at there, although did nothing there.
What I've learnt not the way they live in the new environment, is the way they see their life. I can feel it, although they keep complaining the lecturers from Kolej or University and their assignment's team mates, but they never give up, still positive so far...  I can see they are enjoying their life there, although what they do everyday are Facebooking, Tetrising, Pokering and endless assignment coursework.
How awkward, I'm kinda envy their life they, they definitely have to leave their hometown, parents and friends, but they get to live in a new environment, new school, new teacher and new life. Living together with a gang of friends which made up of 7, all former classmates, everyday chit-chatting, endless laughter... >< I wanna go college as well !!
One more thing I've learnt, I should stop sharing all my emotions to other people, just like "He" did. I should keep all those secret and emotion to myself. I should stop expecting people will pay any attention to whatever i said, told, posted. They don't have to, and me too. I still practicing... =.=